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« heroes and Virgins | Main | swagtastrophe »
Wednesday
Jun102009

the lighter side of loss

It's why we sometimes make race jokes. It's why we sometimes don't.

It's why we sometimes know exactly how many black, Jewish, Chinese, Pakistani, Irish, etc. friends we have. It's why we almost never admit that.

It's why we recognize unfamiliar loss, but it's why we often don't remember it.

It's because we don't know what to do about us. We share commonalities but also difference. We have the same hopes but varied faith. Sometimes we just get each other, and sometimes we don't. But we accept it, unsettled, because resolution seems cloaked.

And so in yesterday's aftermath, amidst all the angst and vitriol and hate and dismay, a simple reminder:

A one-act play was scheduled to show last night at the Holocaust Museum. It's a conversation between Emmett Till and Anne Frank, both young examples of how hate, even fully exercised, loses to hope (every time, without exception) and evidence that we know more about each other than we think. And on the threshold of the building that would host this play, a security guard -- a black man -- died protecting the memories of millions -- Jewish, gay and many others -- and the lives of thousands of too many colors to count.

Thousands of people were in that building for one good and real and simple reason. I hope we don't spend today thinking about the one exception.

Reader Comments (24)

Well said.

Thank you.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdeutlich

Great post, f.b. Spot on.

Thanks. I'm weary of turning on the TV today. Yesterday, they were just reading the stuff the shooter had written on his blog, as if prefacing it with "And I quote..." takes the edge off.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaxie

We are all different, yes, but humanity binds us all. The horror I saw from friend--gay, straight, Asian, black, white, Jewish--was the same.

Thanks for this.

It was all the same. This one guy has to be an aberration. He just has to be.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLemmonex

Great post, man.

Appreciate it.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMatt

as I expected my dear friend, perfectly said....

I love that we speak the same language.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Dear black guy:

This is spot on, as usual. Thanks for writing it.

-Jewish girl

Perfect. Really.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSuburban Sweetheart

This is just an echo of everyone who commented before me. Could not put it into words myself.

I think you could. But thanks.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRacquel Valencia

This gave me chills. Good chills. Especially "hate loses to hope." That's a very powerful concept.

It always loses. The proof is that we're still here.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLiebchen

I'm always amazed at your ability to say so much in very few words.

Also I'm not Chinese- get your count right.

Haha. Brilliant. And noted: I will make the necessary adjustments to my tally.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPatrick

Wow. This was the best thing I've seen written about this whole mess. Thank you for writing it.

Wow. That's a really big compliment. Thanks. I haven't read anything about it today. Other than wanting to be sure the shooter survived so there's a chance of asking him questions and punishing him, I don't know what else I'd even want to hear.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKimwithak

I have no idea how many friends of different races/ethnicities I have. Lots, and I guess I could count, but I never thought about it until now. I think I need to call my parents and thank them for that.

That's awesome, because it really doesn't matter what the numbers are.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJust A Girl

Lovely. Thank you for this.

Thank you for reading.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSA

Excellent post!
When I lived in Europe I visited Auschwitz, Birkenau, Dachau & the house of Anne Frank. One thing that remained consent amid all of the utter horror, was hope. A verse of poetry scrawled on the wall hidden by peeling paper, a picture drawn in the corner so tiny that you could only see it if you knew it was there, and small messages of hope and love meant to be seen to give their fellow man hope in a hopeless time. It was very striking and affected me deeply. They were all forced to bend, but not all of them were broken.

"They were all forced to bend, but not all of them were broken." Yes, yes, yes!

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterrepliderium.com

Its amazing the sacrifices people make for others. I was quite astonished when I read an article about it online. Things like this make my heart sad. I wish people werent like that...then again there will always be bad people and good people...and that man who died will be remembered by all the people who were there (who couldve died if he hadnt been there). I hope he wont be remembered by the color of his skin, but of his heroic act.

i really like how you wrote this. you definitely have a way with words. :D

Yes: the things people do for others is amazing. That's so the point.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLarissa

That man deserves a medal and a hero's burial in Arlington National. Not many people would have done that. He is the embodiment of a real man.

Good lookin bro!

Definitely agree that he's a hero. But I hope many more would've done the same thing.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjustjp

[...] Before I end with some quick thoughts I encourage everyone to read Franco Beans short but thoughtful take on the events… [...]

You never cease to impress me, f.B. Thanks for writing this.

What I always wonder is how a human being arrived to feel this level of hatred. Where in the road did this happen? Why? I wonder.

I don't know. The best I can think of is just out of a false sense of entitlement; some ethnocentrism that vaults what he believes is his group, his "people," above the rest of us. And when that's threatened (in his eyes), it probably rocks his entire foundation.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTitania

what a day to return to the internets. a little personal info, i work for a news blog, and have been just so downtrodden by the last 24 hours (which is to say that i would have been upset if i had just watched the coverage, but the reaction has both horrified and exhausted me). yours was the first thing i've read/seen that has made me happy. thank you.

That means a lot. Thank you.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVittoria

to an old special Black friend,

i purposely made sure to stop by here today in hopes you would have something up to help me through this. dc was my home for almost a decade. this museum was also a home for me. i don't know what else to really write at this second because i am still trying to process it all. so for now, please accept a sincere thank you for your words, wisdom, and thoughts and for sharing them with all of us.

-a Jewish friend

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkjg

ohh.....and totally just read the comments and saw surburban sweethearts comment.....and i wanted to delete mine or edit i did a similar thing......but i don't know how to work this blog thing.....sorry! but props to surburban sweetheart....and wishing you an early good shabbos :)

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkjg

You need/deserve to be published.

June 11, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoLee

Wonderful post. Gave me goosebumps.

June 12, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.
- Anne Frank

We must. We want so much that it makes that really simple advice so hard to remember. But we must.

June 14, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKristin

[...] few weeks ago, a lone gunmen walked into the Holocaust Museum and opened fire.  All of my thoughts were for the security guard who lost his life and for those who were witnesses and victims.  Anger [...]

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